Well this had been the Kick-off week and it has about kicked my butt!
I decided that this was the week that I was going to take control of MY life and not allow all my circumstances, food choices, or beverage selections to rule my life any longer!!
Many Years ago (about 7 to be precise) I found out that I had Adrenal Fatigue and I have struggled with it ever since. New stresses just kept compounding and it has been hard to take a deep breath and just feel on top of everything around me. I have gone to countless doctors, been on hundreds of dollars of vitamins, and have been told to "just breathe" countless times. I don't know about you but when it feels like you are barely keeping afloat out in the middle of the ocean with sharks eyeing you as prey--the last think you want to hear is "just breathe." Needless to say I got tired of paying my hard earned money for postcard platitudes and got confused with all the vitamins and supplements that didn't seem to do anything.
I got overwhelmed with recovery and decided to just survive instead.
I have ALWAYS been one to push myself and to prove myself, which is probably why i have gotten myself to this place of complete and utter burnout. We have recently moved--packed up our 3 bedroom house and moved them all in a u-haul 3.5 hrs north to a small 2 bedroom apartment. I have gone back into the office after working from home for 3 years and my husband recently left his job and is now in the Army. These are just the highlights of the last 6 months--they do not even scratch the surface of all that we have accomplished, endured, and survived within the last 5 years together. We are troopers to say the least--but these earthly bodies sure can't keep up.
As anyone with adrenal fatigue can tell you--you finally get to that place of deep and utter burnout where you feel like you are falling into a dark hole that is never ending. It was taking me 3-5 cups of coffee a day just to be able to push myself along. Everyday was filled with desperation and tears. Life became an act of survival and I was not becoming very good at it.
One of the key areas of trying to jump start my adrenal recovery that I have really struggled with has been giving up caffeine, giving up sugar, and giving up running. I have felt like 2 of those 3 have really defined me and yet it is these very things that are trying to drain the life right out of me.
I was praying the other night for wisdom and direction. Crying out to God because I wanted more for my life--I wanted to thrive, I wanted to be happy, be at peace and full of joy. I was tired of living in this darkness. I felt God ask me to give up any strongholds that were in my life. This was really hard for me to hear because it has seemed that over the last few years, I have already been asked to give up and to sacrifice a lot. I had been holding on to my coffee and to my cardio--grasping them as hard as I could because I felt that if I let go--that somehow I would disappear with them. Now when I heard my self say that last sentence is when I knew that it was time for a change. Who lets a cup of coffee and a pair of running shoes define their very existence? Who thinks that if they don't run those 20 miles a week that somehow their entire existence will be stripped away? or if they don't get those 100 instagram photos at the newest/latest/hippist coffeeshop that somehow they will not be trendy anymore? Crazy talk my friends..just crazy.
I have taken the plunge and I have given up coffee and caffeine for healing! I am in the process of re-evaluating my vitamin and supplement intake and I am pinning "whole food" recipes like a mad woman. i am determined..I will change how I approach things and how I see things. I will not let my circumstances define my existence and I will not allow my identity to be formed by food, drink, or hobbies. I AM A CHILD OF GOD--CREATED FOR A GREAT PURPOSE.
Its time to allow God to use me, to give Him a workable canvas and to see what He will create and repurpose from my willingness.
We don't fast because we hope for God to give us something in the end--we fast because it is something that we can give to God today. He has asked...and I am ready to answer and I am excited to see how He and He alone will bring healing to my willing heart and hands in this journey of recovery.
I am excited to see who I truly am apart from everything that I thought once defined me...
I am ready for this new season.
I am ready for newness. I am ready to come out of the darkness and into His light.
It is day 5 and I am Caffeine Free--Excess Sugar Free--and Cardio Free.
My plan is to nourish my need for mugs by sipping on herbal teas, I plan to stock my pantry and fridge with Healthy, organic, whole foods to sustain and equip my body and I plan to incorporate yoga, breathing (Yes---"deep breathing"), and lots of good for the soul down time.
I am doing this for my longing for children, my longing to draw closer to the heart of God,
my desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman for my husband and family, and lastly for Me--because at 32 (almost 33) years old...I'd like to know what it feels like to not be at war with myself.
To Healing....Cheers.
I decided that this was the week that I was going to take control of MY life and not allow all my circumstances, food choices, or beverage selections to rule my life any longer!!
Many Years ago (about 7 to be precise) I found out that I had Adrenal Fatigue and I have struggled with it ever since. New stresses just kept compounding and it has been hard to take a deep breath and just feel on top of everything around me. I have gone to countless doctors, been on hundreds of dollars of vitamins, and have been told to "just breathe" countless times. I don't know about you but when it feels like you are barely keeping afloat out in the middle of the ocean with sharks eyeing you as prey--the last think you want to hear is "just breathe." Needless to say I got tired of paying my hard earned money for postcard platitudes and got confused with all the vitamins and supplements that didn't seem to do anything.
I got overwhelmed with recovery and decided to just survive instead.
I have ALWAYS been one to push myself and to prove myself, which is probably why i have gotten myself to this place of complete and utter burnout. We have recently moved--packed up our 3 bedroom house and moved them all in a u-haul 3.5 hrs north to a small 2 bedroom apartment. I have gone back into the office after working from home for 3 years and my husband recently left his job and is now in the Army. These are just the highlights of the last 6 months--they do not even scratch the surface of all that we have accomplished, endured, and survived within the last 5 years together. We are troopers to say the least--but these earthly bodies sure can't keep up.
As anyone with adrenal fatigue can tell you--you finally get to that place of deep and utter burnout where you feel like you are falling into a dark hole that is never ending. It was taking me 3-5 cups of coffee a day just to be able to push myself along. Everyday was filled with desperation and tears. Life became an act of survival and I was not becoming very good at it.
One of the key areas of trying to jump start my adrenal recovery that I have really struggled with has been giving up caffeine, giving up sugar, and giving up running. I have felt like 2 of those 3 have really defined me and yet it is these very things that are trying to drain the life right out of me.
I was praying the other night for wisdom and direction. Crying out to God because I wanted more for my life--I wanted to thrive, I wanted to be happy, be at peace and full of joy. I was tired of living in this darkness. I felt God ask me to give up any strongholds that were in my life. This was really hard for me to hear because it has seemed that over the last few years, I have already been asked to give up and to sacrifice a lot. I had been holding on to my coffee and to my cardio--grasping them as hard as I could because I felt that if I let go--that somehow I would disappear with them. Now when I heard my self say that last sentence is when I knew that it was time for a change. Who lets a cup of coffee and a pair of running shoes define their very existence? Who thinks that if they don't run those 20 miles a week that somehow their entire existence will be stripped away? or if they don't get those 100 instagram photos at the newest/latest/hippist coffeeshop that somehow they will not be trendy anymore? Crazy talk my friends..just crazy.
I have taken the plunge and I have given up coffee and caffeine for healing! I am in the process of re-evaluating my vitamin and supplement intake and I am pinning "whole food" recipes like a mad woman. i am determined..I will change how I approach things and how I see things. I will not let my circumstances define my existence and I will not allow my identity to be formed by food, drink, or hobbies. I AM A CHILD OF GOD--CREATED FOR A GREAT PURPOSE.
Its time to allow God to use me, to give Him a workable canvas and to see what He will create and repurpose from my willingness.
We don't fast because we hope for God to give us something in the end--we fast because it is something that we can give to God today. He has asked...and I am ready to answer and I am excited to see how He and He alone will bring healing to my willing heart and hands in this journey of recovery.
I am excited to see who I truly am apart from everything that I thought once defined me...
I am ready for this new season.
I am ready for newness. I am ready to come out of the darkness and into His light.
It is day 5 and I am Caffeine Free--Excess Sugar Free--and Cardio Free.
My plan is to nourish my need for mugs by sipping on herbal teas, I plan to stock my pantry and fridge with Healthy, organic, whole foods to sustain and equip my body and I plan to incorporate yoga, breathing (Yes---"deep breathing"), and lots of good for the soul down time.
I am doing this for my longing for children, my longing to draw closer to the heart of God,
my desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman for my husband and family, and lastly for Me--because at 32 (almost 33) years old...I'd like to know what it feels like to not be at war with myself.
To Healing....Cheers.
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